Even with the demise of the Great Lana Experiment, Angie was undaunted. She dived right back in with another girl who was "just perfect". That perfect girl was Debbie. Angie was determined to have this work, so we stuck with the phone in the beginning. That's right, Angie was a regular dating service.
Debbie was nice, carried a decent conversion, and seemed to be as amused by Angie as I was. I wasn't feeling it though. I mean, I'm sure I might have been more interested, but the divorce had just gone through a few months earlier, and I really wasn't all that ecstatic about dating again. This was a fact that was completely lost on Angie.
Anyway, after a few weeks of the dance, Angie got tired of my glacier pace and took it upon herself to set up a dinner. Debbie call me laughing, and said that we'd better go to dinner, or Angie was going to be carted away to a rubber room.
By this point, I'm sure you are wondering why I put up with it. Well, she was really harmless, and she honestly thought she was helping. Besides, Dave was a good friend, and he knew how annoying his wife could be. I enjoyed the distraction.
Well, we set up a day for dinner. Debbie gave me directions to her house, and I pulled into the driveway at 6:55. I walked up to the door, ready to meet her in person for the first time. I had seen her picture. She was pretty, but not really my type. I was never big on blondes.
I reached her door, rang the bell, and waited. I should have noticed the darkness in the windows, but I really didn't think about it. She yelled out, "Come on in!"
I opened the front door and stepped into the foyer. The light was not on, but there were a couple of candles burning on the small table. I looked to my right and saw a faint light, so I walked in. Now, reading this at this point and time, it's pretty easy to figure out what was happening. HOWEVER, a newly single guy who had been out of the dating pool for 16 years was a tad slow on the draw.
I stepped into the living room, and into the center of a candle expo. I'm not sure if she was trying to set a romantic mood, or if she was preparing for a human sacrifice. Even with all the candles, I still didn't see her at first. Her couch was all the way at the end of the room, about 20' feet away. It was a big room, with lots of candles.
I saw some movement in the corner of my eye, and Debbie shifted on the couch. She was sitting in the candlelight, completely naked. Now, I know she was trying to be romantic (although going about it in a highly sluttified manner), but I did not take it that way. I could have said a lot of things in this situation. I could have been suave. I could have been cool. I could have. But I wasn't. I snorted. I actually snorted a laugh. She wanted to be sexy, and I thought it was comical.
Debbie was not amused. Needless to say, I didn't get to eat dinner. Called the parents. Laughter. You know the drill.
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