Ahhh, Saturdays in the Fall are always the best days. These are the days I spend my time molding my chair to the shape of my backside. College football starts at noon, and the games continue until well after I feel the urge to stay awake.
Last year I was sort of kinda involved with Vicky, whom you might remember from our adventure at Universal. I said she hadn't ruined her chance, and she hadn't. We started spending more time together around the fourth of July, and things just evolved from there. It was pretty easy actually. The youngest child was spending the summer at her mother's place, and the oldest had finally moved out. We had plenty of time to get to know each other.
We spent a lot of time together, and before we knew it, it was football season. Most women are not interested in football, so I was pleasantly surprised when Vicky voiced her love of the college game. She likes to watch the games, but she loves her Clemson Tigers, or as she says, Climpson. My daughter was back home, but she liked to spend Saturdays at Universal with friends. Whenever she was gone, Vicky would head over to the house and we would spend the day watching games.
Since we were no longer together, I was surprised when Vicky called and asked if I was interested in hanging out and watching games this year. As it turned out, the child was going to be in drama practice every Saturday until October, and I would be at home alone. If you are wondering why that is important, I made a decision a long time ago to keep my social life and the kids separate. It's just the way I do it.
Anyway, I figured enough time had passed that we could just hang out as friends. The truth is, I really enjoy having Vicky over during football season. I don't have to get out of my chair for anything except the bathroom. If I start to get up, she will ask what I need, and then she's off to get it. A man could get used to that.
Week 3 rolled around, and Climpson was hosting Auburn. Of course, we had to watch that game. It was the first opportunity for her to see her team play. I should mention that we are both in a group on the ESPN Pick'em game. I has taken Auburn in the game, and she had her team.
As Climpson looked more and more like the winning team, she became more and more insufferable.
"You picked the wrong tigers. You should have taken Climpson." Since they won, she was in a great mood.
Every week since then, Climpson has been on TV. And every week, she demands the channel stay on the game. I don't mind, except when my school was on at the same time. She just had to live with channel flipping or go home.
Then came the Maryland game. The girl child had planned to spend the day at Disney with her friends. Vicky came over around 11:30, with lunch. A guy could get used to this. The day progressed as usual, until the Climpson game started. Maryland jumped out to an early lead, and my smiling, happy companion disappeared. In her place was a surly, snarky creature from under a bridge. I should point out that Climpson has traditionally blown wins in the past, but this year seemed to be different. I just kept waiting for the team to tank a game. It appeared this was the week, and Vicky was none too happy about it.
At one point in the third quarter, I decided I would get something to drink. As I started to get up, she turned her head to me like a snake turning on its prey.
"Where are you going?" It came across as a warning, not a question.
"Need some water. Want some?"
"No. Don't be long."
Have you ever heard of those situations where the room seems to drop a few degrees? This was one of them. My normally cheerful football buddy was decidedly not cheerful, nor was she much of a buddy. I really wanted to laugh. I really did. I thought better of it, but I could not suppress a smile as I walked to the kitchen.
As the game progressed, so did Vicky. From disbelief in the first quarter, she went to denial in the second. She then went to anger, and early in the third, she had moved to sadness, with a sprinkling of wetness in the eyes. Finally, Climpson scored, and then scored again. By the end of the third quarter, they were down by only 3 points. It was an incredible rebound. Throughout the fourth quarter, as Climpson went on to win by a few touchdowns, the troll retreated to the bridge, and the smiling, happy Vicky returned.
So, the moral of the story is; I need everybody to back Climpson this year. Otherwise, I will have to get my own sandwich, and nobody wants that.
(Yes Vicky, that was entirely tongue in cheek)
