Maybe it's something in the water. I really can't be sure. It just appears that we have entire generations walking around with no clue how to spell or speak the English language. Texting has made it worse. I'm going to get pacific here, irregardless of you're believes, you're parents prolly knew better how to right than you do. I loose my mind when I see that your using the wrong word their. They're use of the words, its mind numming. Its worse when there trying to use there their. Awe, who cares? I'm going to take a knap.
Seriously, for the past 15 years I've been gathering phrases and mangled statements from friends and mostly bosses. Here, for your pleasure, is the first group.
This is from my former boss Manny, name changed. Nothing said here was done in jest. He was totally serious. Some of these words I had to phonetically spell, because there is nothing like them.
In all realisticity...
We can use the borcansilicate glass. It's borosilicate, and this is a common material in our industry
You know what really gets my dandruff up?
Contractors are the scorge of the industry.
I dint know the answer.
It would behoof us to do that.
We have some stuff coming up the pipe. up?
They just want their cake and ice cream too. He is good and mangling cliches
I heard a good antidote. anecdote
We have to shift through the data.
It's ananomically correct
Very far and few between
Think outside the dots
That's a feather under our cap
It's a mute point
I can't phantom the thought
It's all peaches and gravy Does not sound tasty
We're pretty good at joggling things around.
It was thrusted on us
That project is on a fast back to completion.
When the word is put to the bird, we're right.
9900 out of 1000 times
This is for that jamoca sp?
The rep had yolk on his face.
We need some order of semblence.
You need to purvey that. convey
Throw a wrench into the fire.
He pulled a fasty.
For all intensive purposes
Let the timber be your nut. It's a timmerman nut, and it's also common in the industry
Are you a PEMA lover? PETA
That restaurant does a landmine business.
We don't want to harbor good will.
A friend took me to his farm and showed me how they use a concubine to harvest corn.
I'm not ready to throw that monkey on the fire.
We will have limited cultibility.
We will not do business with a lever over our head.
After a lengthy explanation of how we were going to handle the new, high dollar products, he gave us this gem:
I just wanted to give you a flavor of where my personal head is.
Of course, he wasn't alone. I got some good stuff from other people at work.
It raises an eyelash
On top of the ball
electronical
configurated
There are two thoughts of school
It's dry to the bone
The steering wheel was not adhesed to the column
You shouldn't let your gas get to low because the crud floats to the bottom
He's a vivid beer drinker avid
I was tongue twisting
Get all my aces in a row
He was brown balled
The drivers were red-necking the accident
We were like oil and vinegar
The order fell through the loops
Out of the frying pan, and into the skillet
Just bite the dust and do it
I don't have any ideal
Full of salt and vinegar
Don't eat with your mouth full
He keeps coming back like a wooden nickel
It's boogered up 6 days to Sunday.
She's as cute as a whip
We don't want to be reliable for damage That is true
Rub it in your nose
It stinks like high heaven
I need a drink. I'm perched.
You have to let sleepy dogs lay down and go to sleep
Bull in a China bowl
That's what tipped the iceberg
Look at the rounth of it
We face liquid dated charges
It holds various and combined articulum
There's a lot of testerone in there.
Get some blinko galoba
Wet behind the gills
It was a shamesty of justice
Lay aside your indifferences
Brown glucose spider
It's all come untogether
I'm just a little pre-cautious
I'm going to catch the jet eye
He's bi-sectional bisexual
E-mails are always fun.
We need to aspertane the situation
You don't know me Jack from Adam
Inguage lunch sequence
Somethings fishy in fishtown
They suggest putting a reverence on the drawing
